All I Have
by this.is.goodbye
Summary: "You're the only friend I have left at Degrassi." The stories of Fiona and Eli's lives in their senior year, in particular where they coincide. Set after Dead and Gone. Canon. Eliona friendship ONLY. Other  romantic  pairings to come.


"Knock knooock."

Fiona smiled as Eli walked into the room, carrying a slightly-wilted potted plant into her room at the rehab center. She raised a perfectly trimmed eyebrow at it.

"Not that I object to your presence, but… a plant?" Eli shrugged and came into the room all the way, letting the door shut behind him with a soft click. Fiona smiled warmly despite the sarcastic comment she'd uttered, because it was nice to see a familiar face. She'd been back in rehab for only a week, with five left, but she was already bored to tears. Anya had left for basic training, Chantay's family had whisked her away on a family vacation, Declan and her mother were in New York, and Holly J was still in the hospital herself.

"I thought that was what you brought people… I dunno." The raven-haired boy gave a shrug.

Fiona smiled and stood, taking the plant from him and placing it on the shelf next to some of her other trinkets she'd collected over the past week.

"Well, regardless, I appreciate the thought." She collapsed back down on the bed and Eli mimicked her. She turned and stared at him, propping herself up on an elbow.

"So, Mr. Goldsworthy, how have you been? How are Clare and Jake?" Fiona gave him a knowing smile. She and Eli were very in sync, despite the fact that they'd been friends only 1 short semester. She knew that even though he was better, taking his meds, and claimed to want Clare and Jake to be happy together, Fiona knew Eli still loved Clare. A lot. Eli sighed.

"She and Jake sorta broke up. I think." He shrugged a little and rolled over so he was lying on his stomach, facing her. Fiona laughed a little, humorlessly.

"You think?" She inquired, nodding her head, probing him forward.

"Yeah. It got complicated for them." Fiona had to giggle a little in spite of herself. Eli sounded like he was trying to be Dr. Phil or something. She caught the glare coming from his eyes, though, and quieted her laughter, trying as best as she could to look genuinely sensitive and concerned as she spoke.

"Complicated how?"

"Well, apparently their parents are getting married." Eli looked at Fiona, obviously expecting the shock that was, in fact, washing over her in buckets.

"M…married? But… That makes them like, siblings." Fiona mentally smacked herself. That makes them like sibilings. No. it makes them rubber ducks. Of course.

"Thank you, queen of obvious." Eli laughed a little and Fiona pretended to pout.

"Hey. Be nice to me. I'm the one in rehab." She batted her eyelashes, but stuck her tongue out to prove she was only kidding. He playfully swatted at her face.

"Seriously, though. I don't know what to do. I want to be with Clare. It's always been Clare. But I'm not going to be her rebound from Jake. I…" He looked at Fiona, and there was a softness that was only there when he talked about Clare. "…I really want to do things right this time."

"Then don't be her rebound." Fiona shrugged, picking at her nail polish. It bothered her immensely that it was peeling. She'd have to fix that at some point today.

"How can I not be? I… I can't give her up, Fi. I'm not going to go crazy this time but I still love her." Eli's voice was so vulnerable that Fiona sat up, trying to show that she really was taking him seriously.

"I mean don't be her rebound. Just be friends with her. Be really, really good friends with her. Without any flirting, or whatever your little emo version of that is. Just be friends. Simple. Keep it simple." Eli sat up too, with a jolt, as though the idea that he could just be friends with Clare never occurred to him.

"You're brilliant, Fiona." Fiona smiled pridefully.

"That's what they tell me."

Eli looked at his phone and sprung to his feet.

"Crap. I told Clare I'd meet her for coffee and we'd go visit Adam together. Talk to you later, Fi." He half-hugged her rapidly before rushing out of the room.

"Call me!" He yelled back as he dashed down the hall. Fiona sighed and fell back onto her bed.

Alone with her thoughts again.

Clare drummed her blue nails impatiently on the clear glass table of the coffee shop across from the hospital and stared at her watch. Eli Goldsworthy, always late. His unspoken motto. She rolled her eyes and chuckled goodnaturedly as he came flying into the coffee shop, his shoulderbag flying in one direction, his legs in the other, his black hair a mess as he collapsed into the chair across from Clare.

"S-sorry." He panted. Clare raised an eyebrow to show he was not that easily forgiven.

"You're twenty minutes late." She pointed unnecessarily at her watch. He nodded, looking chagrined.

"I know. I'm sorry. I bought Fiona a plant- Don't laugh!- and I thought I'd have time to drop it off over at the rehab center before I came here and-" He patted the seat next to him and groaned.

"I forgot the plant I got Adam!" He smacked his head with his hand. He looked at Clare, expecting to be in trouble, but to his surprise, there was a tenderness in her eyes he was not used to seeing.

"You… you bought Adam a plant? And Fiona? And you were visiting Fiona? That's…" Clare was impressed, she had to admit. The Eli she had known, had dated for three months, would never had thought of plants, and he himself had said that hospitals and nursing homes and rehabs made him nervous. This was a side to him she had never seen before, and part of her had to wonder if it was merely an act. She had to admit, if it was, it was working. Or maybe it was just his blue eyes, that looked less demented and more pained lately, working on her heart.

She shook her head, trying to clear all thoughts of Eli and his eyes out of her head. She smiled sweetly and reached down under her seat, pulling a beautifully blooming orchid potted plant and setting it down on the table. Eli gaped.

"You bought an orchid, too?" It was the exact same plant he'd gotten both Fiona and Adam, although his had been wilting much more than hers, and their colors had not been nearly as vibrant.

Clare nodded.

"Why, was that what you had gotten?" Eli shook his head in the affirmative, and Clare chuckled a little. They'd always had an uncanny knack for doing things like that.

Just then, a very pretty waitress with long, chocolate brown hair down the middle of her back came up. Her perfectly polished lips curved into a smile at Eli, although they dropped a little when she saw Clare.

"What can I get you two?" She directed the question to Eli, but Clare answered. The waitress turned to Clare, displeasure obvious in her stance.

"I'll take an iced latte, with non-fat milk, please? Thank you." The waitress scribbled it down, and turned to Eli, bending over just slightly and batting her eyelashes.

"And you?" Eli looked straight at Clare the entire time, even as he ordered.

"I'll have a frozen cappuccino." The waitress took her time writing it and didn't leave. Eli finally looked at her, reluctantly.

"That will be all." He spoke dismissively and the pretty girl sighed.

"Fine. One frozen cappuccino and an iced latte right up." She walked away, her heels clicking on the floor. Clare bit her lip. It always intimidated her when pretty girls were around. She'd become somewhat used to it, being best friends with Alli, but it still bothered her.

_It shouldn't matter, it's just Eli._ She tried reminding herself. They were over. He was at perfect liberty to look at whatever girl he wanted. Still, she didn't like it. She looked out the window until Eli's voice brought her back to reality.

"What's wrong?" The deep concern in his voice made Clare turn to him.

"How do you know anything is wrong?" She surprised herself. She had meant to say that nothing was wrong. But she had always found it hard to lie to Eli. Some things didn't change with time, obviously.

"You always bite your lip when something's wrong. And get that far away look in your eyes. Like you're a million miles from where we are." Clare nodded slightly at his words. He knew her so well, sometimes it bothered her. But today, she found it endearing.

"She was really pretty." Clare was dumbfounded at her own stupidity. Had she really just admitted that, out of all the things that could be troubling her, the thing that _was _troubling her was that a pretty- okay, gorgeous- girl had been flirting with Eli? But he looked confused.

"Who was really pretty?" There was confusion in his tone and Clare rolled her eyes.

"That waitress. Don't pretend you didn't notice."

Eli shook his head.

"I can say with complete certainty that I didn't."

Clare smiled a little at him then, as their drinks arrived.

"Can I get you anything else?" The waitress asked, still directing her words to Eli. Clare watched Eli look her up and down and dismiss her with his eyes, even before he did with his words.

"Nope, we're good." The waitress set down a receipt and Clare pulled out her purse to pay for hers, but Eli gently rested a hand on hers.

"I got it." Clare looked from Eli to their hands and he withdrew his quickly. Nonetheless, Clare felt her heart quicken at his touch.

"Thank you, Eli." Clare tried to convey everything she could in those three words, but she couldn't, because to be perfectly honest, she wasn't sure _what_ she was feeling. He smiled that stunning smile at her and paid the waitress. After she handed him his change and walked away, he stood up, coffee in one hand, Clare's plant in the other, and motioned towards the door. Clare grabbed her coffee and followed him.

"Oh, and Clare?"

"Hm?"

"She wasn't that pretty." He smiled at her again and led the way to the hospital across the street.

Who was this stranger, and what had he done with the completely irrational, unpredictable Eli she had once known?

"This is going to suck so much, Fi." Fiona was sitting on the lounge chair in her room, painting her toenails, while Eli hung upside down on her bed. It was late into that night and Eli, who had returned immediately after visiting Adam, was relaying all of the previous day's events to Fiona in detail.

"It sucked. I touched her for a second-" He caught Fiona's eye and scoffed. "It wasn't like that, she pulled out her wallet to pay for the coffee and I just put my hand on hers to stop her- anyway. It just…. It was like there were literally electric currents running from me to her and her to me. There wasn't a single part of me that could stop wanting to kiss her. I'm…"

He sprung off of Fiona's bed and started pacing.

"It would be one thing if I knew that there was a definite end. That at the end of this, whatever "this" is, that we'd be together again. You know? But what if…" He turned to face the wall, not wanting Fiona to see his face, which was contorted with grief.

"What if I never get her back?" Fiona sighed and swung her legs off of the chair, and hobbled over to Eli on the balls of her feet, not letting her toes touch the ground or each other as they dried, and pulled him into a hug.

"It's gonna be okay. Even if you don't get her back. I promise. Everything always turns out to be okay. Okay?" She smiled softly at him and he nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks." She released him and hobbled back over to the chair to finish painting her other foot.

"Any time. I so owe you. I think I would go certifiably insane if I didn't have you to visit me. I talk to Holly J every day on the phone, but I feel so bad talking to her about anything, you know? I mean I can gripe and moan about all my problems all I want but at the end of the day, she just went through a freaking kidney transplant. Like, who am I to complain?" She sighed as she screwed the lid back on the nail polish bottle. Eli laid back on the bed and she went over and laid next to him- one of the perks of her money, she could afford the best private rehab center ever, complete with queen beds, a widescreen TV and a private room.

Eli turned over so he was facing her.

"How _are_ you, Fi?" She smiled a little at him.

"I'm good. You know I'm good." Eli scoffed a little.

"With no offence intended, I think if you were good, you wouldn't be here."

Fiona sighed and rolled over so she was staring at the ceiling as she talked. She was too scared to look into anyone's eyes when she was being so candidly honest.

"Fine. I'm not good. It sucks. I didn't go to prom, Holly J is leaving in two months for Yale where I'm sure she and Declan will fall back in love and leave me in the dust again, Anya's already gone, Chantay and I weren't that close to begin with and she's away for two months, and I can't even take thinking about Charlie right now, much less being around her. You're the only person I have left. I'm so sick and tired of loosing people. I've moved so many times. I always told Mom I liked it… liked traveling, liked the adventures. But the truth is I'm sick of adventures. I want to stay somewhere. I want to be like everyone at Degrassi, I want to have kid, high school drama." She chuckled dryly.

"I'm an alcoholic. When you hear alcoholic, you think fourty year old fat man that lives alone. But it's what I am. It's sucky."

Eli looked at her for a moment and she blushed a little, because she could feel his intense gaze all over her cherry red cheeks. After a while, she felt his fingers intertwine with hers.

"You still have me though, Fi, and I swear that's not going to change. We'll rule Degrassi next year. We'll get through this. And…" He trailed off. He'd always been good at expressing emotions, way too much so, in fact, but all of the sudden he was tongue-tied.

"Call me. Whenever. If you ever want to drink again. Okay? Please?" Fiona sat up and stared at Eli. She could never have picked a less likely friend for herself, but she really was growing to love this boy. He was the genuinely nicest boy she'd ever met. She wrapped her arms around him fiercely and buried her head in his shoulder.

"I'm sick of being alone." Her voice was muffled by his jacket, but he could understand her. Eli was a little taken back at the onslaught of emotion but after sitting there, baffled, for a moment, he tentatively placed a comforting hand on her back.

"Me too, Fi. But if we have each other, we're not really alone, are we?"

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